Random reasons I have broken up with men...or never dated them again

I am a little quirky. I admit that. Quirky on the things that drive me insane. Sometimes, I feel like I am on an episode of the Seinfeld Show when I am out on a date. I sit there and think to myself, "WTF"...I call my friends afterwards and I am like, "You aren't going to believe this shit!"

I am NOT perfect. This is not what I am saying. I am also not talking about the obvious reasons for not dating someone again like being a total DB, or rude or abusive etc. These things are the random little incidences that happen when I am on a date with someone and they do something...and I am like, "EWWWWW"...my eyes widen and time feels like time is standing still. I can't date you anymore.

Now, I KNOW I am not the only one who does this. I might be one of the few who admit it. It is funny to me. Totally and admittedly shallow (maybe a smidge). I am looking around waiting for the cameras to come out sometimes on some of the dates that I have gone on and holy crap I have some stories to tell (at a later time)...but getting back to random things...


No, I have never done this. I just think its funny!





Here are 3:

"The Open Mouth Chewer" If I can hear you chewing, I have fantasied about your death. For reals. I need someone to make me this sign. For the love of God, please close your mouth.



"Excessive Emoji Guy" It will be our last date, if you send me something like this:

Example of excessive emojis...and the Golden Girls Theme

I once had a guy that I had gone out with that would send me constant texts with "excessive emojis"...like there were at least 20-30 emojis in every text. It was weird to me. Why do you feel the need to make me guess what the heck you are saying all of the time? Why don't you just write it? Or the guy who uses excessive GIFs. Where every text to me is a GIF. What the heck? Words. They matter.

"Double Dipper"...with EVERYTHING guy. Dammit...double dipping and mixing your shit from your mouth into my guacamole. Gross. This dude dipped his chips into the salsa, then to the bean dip, then to the guac...ate a part of there chip and then dipped it all back again. I lost my appetite. Date over. Please do not try to kiss me.



I'm sure that I have also done things that have driven men crazy. Like one thing that I totally know I do when I eat is that somehow I will miss my mouth. I have something on my fork and BAM, it is somehow back on my plate. I don't know how this happens. I have learned to laugh at it...but I am sure that someone had a problem with it at some point and time. Weird quirks. We all have them. There is definitely someone for everyone where these things would not matter. I know this...

What are yours?



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