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Showing posts from September, 2019

The Story of NOT Following the Crowd

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Warning: I will probably piss some people off (loan officers) in this post...but it needs to be said.

Back in 2010-ish after the "mortgage meltdown" started to subside and things normalized out a little, I used to be part of a much larger branch of mortgage peeps. We had a HUGE office on 1604 near Sigma Road...I think it was close to 4000 square feet....or at least it seemed that big! Our "leader" (I use the quotes to symbolize that he really wasn't a leader), decided to start looking around for another place to work for the entire branch because he wasn't happy with how things were going. I thought that they were going just fine. I didn't want to go.

What I did not realize was that this moving around business was his SOP. He would stay somewhere for a few years, negotiate sign on bonuses for himself and his entire crew...and then stay there for a year...maybe two...and then do the same thing over again. And then over and over and over and over again. I…

On Failing

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One of the things that I had said in an earlier post was about failing…and the fact that I am not afraid to fail. I would rather try something and fail miserably than not even try at all. I think that it is one of the keys to success, at least for me anyway.
I have made some pretty bold and ballsy moves in my life that I am sure that have caused others to wonder, “ WTF is she thinking?” Some have been great…some I have fallen right on my face. You just gotta pick yourself up afterwards and congratulate yourself for at least trying. Most people won’t even TRY for fear that they won’t excel at something or be as good as they envision or would like to be. That is silly. Take a chance, will ya? 
I am sitting here trying to think of some of my “bolder moves” that could have totally sucked…and some ended up being great and some not-so-much.
Like:

Quitting college when I had a full scholarship and selling everything I owned and moving to CA —> CA is where I got into the mortgage business.Quit…

A Story of Forgiveness and Transformation

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My childhood was a little rough, to say the least. Unstable and unpredictable. My brother and I didn't know what our day-to-day life was going to be like because we had a father that was an alcoholic. Not a nice one. We didn't know what kind of mood he would be in, how he would treat us, if we needed to hide...

One of my snapshots in my mind that I will never forget as long as I live is when my parents sat my brother and I down and said that they were getting divorced, we were so excited! We longed for stability and we were most at peace when he was not around. Now we had a chance.

I hated what alcoholism did to my father. I used to hate my dad too.

I could not wait to leave Buffalo when I was younger and took the first chance that I could get when I left for California. We had an awful incident at my graduation party and that was the perennial "last straw" for me.


Here's where the story get's good...

My father is a new man. He has turned into one of the most…

Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone- What it Was Like to Walk a Runway

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I am an extrovert. I talk to people for a living. I am also on TV sometimes. BUT, I will tell you that walking down a runway in front of 400+ people scared the living heck out of me! It was WAY outside my comfort zone. I mean, WAY WAY out. Way the F out. LOL.

I did it anyway, and it was amazing.

In my life, I decided early on that I would make myself do things that I felt uncomfortable with or scared of. Stepping out of my comfort zone has become the norm for me and I will tell you that 99% of the time, I have LOVED it...afterwards. You just gotta do it.

This past summer, I was invited by San Antonio Threads (Taylor Mobley...this woman is an inspiration on so many levels) to model 2 different outfits. I accepted and then really didn't give it much thought...until I got there and saw that I was surrounded by beautiful (and experienced) people everywhere. Holy crap.

They did our make-up and hair and then we did a "dry run" of how it would go. ANDDDDD then I really started…

Getting NAD Treatments

I just finished getting my first round (there were 4) of NAD Treatments. NAD stands for Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide. It is a natural therapy that is basically a complete reset of your mind and body.

Here are some links to read about it:
http://www.koniverwellness.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/BR-Summary-PDF-1-1.pdf
https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/podcast/anti-aging-podcasts/what-is-nad/
Now, I will try anything that is natural and supposed to be good for you...cause, well, you never know. Additionally, those who have has this have had such wonderful results...how could I not?
The treatment protocol starts with 4 consecutive days. The nurse came to my house at 6am to begin the IV that took approximately 1 hour. The reason she came to the house is because...well...this therapy is quite uncomfortable. It hurts like a MOFO actually. Like getting the flu in parts of your body one at a time.  You feel like you are going to have to take a major poo (ha ha...I know this is way too much …

Something is About To Happen...

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A few days ago while I was working out in the morning, something very profound happened. I have been debating on sharing it, but this morning, I decided to lay it all out there...

So here goes...

So, for months now, I have had a feeling that I am going to be called to give to someone in a BIG BIG way. Something that is outside my comfort zone for sure. I know that I am supposed to do it because the feeling won't go away. I have had a feeling that I know who I am supposed to help, but it wasn't until recently it was confirmed for me (like this morning as to who for sure and what). I bet you wonder how I know...and the only way that I can describe it is when I speak it out loud, the freakin' hair stands up all over my body really really bad...and the thought won't go away. When I do it, it won't make sense to some, but that is ok.

Anyway, back to the profound moment.

Here I am working out (chest flyes, actually) and all of the sudden I was overwhelmed with gratitude.…

College Student Loans -- What the Heck, People!!

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Today I am going to talk about something that I see every day when I run credit and it scares the hell out of me...it is the high amount of people that have HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN STUDENT LOANS...AND MAKE LIKE $50,000 PER YEAR. This makes absolutely no freakin' sense. How are you ever ever going to pay that all back? It's not possible...at least in your lifetime.
I think that student loans are the next crisis to hit America. The cost to go to college has become so outrageous...too outrageous...to the point that the cost (I believe) does not in any way justify what you are getting and the kind of job you will get after. We are going to see more and more student loan defaults because people are going to say, "F this...I can't possibly pay them back, so I am not even going to try!"...and so it will begin.
I just took a loan application this week for a teacher who went back to college to get her masters so that she could make more money at the school. Y…

I Should Totally be Dead...But I Am Not!

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I found out the hard way back in 2001 that I have a genetic blood disorder.

I had a simple surgery to remove some cysts from my ovary. Weird thing is this was not my first surgery so this to me was SOP but, well....you know. It turned out to be different.

I got a bad pain in my leg that felt like the world's worse charley horse. My leg didn't swell. My leg didn't turn red. It just hurt so bad that I could not put weight on it.

Not knowing what it was, I used one of those thumper massage thingys that you but at Brookstone...you know what I am talking about. While I am massaging my leg to ease my "charley horse" I could feel stabbing pains in my lower back. Dammit...I pinched a nerve....so I thought. WTF.

The pain got worse over the next few days...a LOT worse. I went to the doctor and they did an X-ray of my lungs because I was having so much trouble breathing. I had pneumonia. They put me on antibiotics. Sent me home.

I didn't have pneumonia.

Fast forward ano…

The Story of the Nose Bite and The Prayer

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It is hard for me to believe sometimes that I was in an abusive relationship. A bad one. It was a dude that came from a "good family", but he wasn't good. By the time I realized what I had gotten into, it was too late, I was already sucked in and in love and stupid as hell. Love was truly blind. He was horribly verbally abusive to me and then one day it became physical. The fucker bit my nose in a confrontation. A deep bite. They could not stitch my nose because it was a human bite, so I had to walk around with a taped nose, all huge and red for several weeks. My scar is sill visible (to me) despite the multiple times of getting it lasered. Now, it serves as a reminder to me to be careful and to know the red flags that I chose to ignore way back then.

I am a strong woman...very strong. I sometimes shake my head when I think of back then and wonder how I got myself into that mess. It was crazy. It was scary. Now, I use it as a learning tool of the perennial reminder of wh…

Random reasons I have broken up with men...or never dated them again

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I am a little quirky. I admit that. Quirky on the things that drive me insane. Sometimes, I feel like I am on an episode of the Seinfeld Show when I am out on a date. I sit there and think to myself, "WTF"...I call my friends afterwards and I am like, "You aren't going to believe this shit!"

I am NOT perfect. This is not what I am saying. I am also not talking about the obvious reasons for not dating someone again like being a total DB, or rude or abusive etc. These things are the random little incidences that happen when I am on a date with someone and they do something...and I am like, "EWWWWW"...my eyes widen and time feels like time is standing still. I can't date you anymore.

Now, I KNOW I am not the only one who does this. I might be one of the few who admit it. It is funny to me. Totally and admittedly shallow (maybe a smidge). I am looking around waiting for the cameras to come out sometimes on some of the dates that I have gone on and hol…

Cancer is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me...

That statement is 10000% true. I would not be who I am if I did not have cancer back in 2007.

Don't get me wrong, it absolutely sucked while I had cancer and the subsequent aftermath of having to go through the treatments. I mean totally sucked monkey balls. Cancer is very sad to me, as I have seen it take many people that I have known and loved. It is one of the most horrible diseases a person can have. If you survive it though, I think you owe it to the world to let your light shine. You definitely owe it to yourself.

When shit happens to us that we don't like, we have two choices: 1) to become bitter and hateful or 2)  to find the good that comes from it (albeit very difficult to find sometimes...I know).

2 Bible verses come to mind when I write this...

Phillipians 4:8 says, "Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on t…

Hiking Does a Mind Good

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I feel the greatest joy when I am in nature. It brings me closer to God.

I wonder sometimes how anyone could think that this was all by "accident". Total random thought right there.

Anyway, back to why Jen loves her some hiking...

It centers me. It makes me forget about work, my chores, my never ending "to do" list. I am forced to live in the present moment. I am not worried about my past or my future. It is allllll about RIGHT NOW...which is pretty awesome.

I notice the thousand other things I overlook on a daily basis because I am not distracted, for once, and am too busy thinking about all of the things I need to do. Right now.

I hear the wind through the trees and the birds chirp. The hum of the cicadas. I see butterflies. I see flowers....No, I don't see dead people. Sorry, I could not help it! LOL

It brings balance to my heart and soul. My mind is cleared.

I talk to God a lot when I hike. We figure a lot of shit out together.

I appreciate all of the beaut…

On Being Over 40

Finally. I am comfortable with myself. It took 43 years. It was gradual. My 40's have been my favorite time of my life so far! They have been wonderful. I wish that I could stay here forever, but I know that my life will continue to move on...whether I like it or not. I am going to get older.

No longer am I afraid to tell you what I think or the crazy things that enter my mind. No longer do I care about what anyone thinks about me. I am good with my body and I am confident. I am at peace with my scars and the lines that are forming on my face (I am still totally going to get Botox though..just saying). I know what I think and how my mind works. There is something so absolutely satisfying about knowing exactly what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. I am FREE and it feels freakin' great.

I feel like I have reached an age of "authentic success"...to me this is a place where overall, I am completely content. I am here.

I have accepted my aches and pains that m…

Toilet Paper

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My random thought this morning just because I did it just last night...
No matter where in the world I am...regardless of if it is at someone's house or at a restaurant, if the toilet paper is hung the WRONG way, I am going to fix that shit.



Oh, and I have done it no matter where I have been. For reals.
I can be at someone's house for a party that I barely know, but once I leave, the toilet paper is hung properly. Fancy restaurants...those are fixed too. Watch out because I will find you. I have a particular set of skills. ha ha
What's the matter with these heathens who keep putting it on the wrong way? Google the original patent for TP and you will find what the intended proper placement is. Just sayin'...


This has also become a gauge or a litmus test of anyone I date too...In my head, if you are an "under roller", you just don't care about life! Totally too laid back and probably an underachiever. Now, I know that my theory is not 100% true, but my mind…

The Trust Path

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There are two ways to live our lives...OUR way or HIS way. Difficult or easy. It is your choice.

Let me explain.

The first way, is OUR way. We just got about our lives, not trusting in the greater wisdom and purpose of God in our lives. We wander along our paths, meandering here and there. Alone. You might reach the end of the path, but along the way you have become anxious and bitter. You don't see the beauty on the trail because you are so focused on how bad the path sucks. It is in the full sun, hard and steep. It's all about you and your abilities...you don't need anyone. You think that whatever happens is just random with no meaning and you hate the world for it because you are suffering. Yeah, you can still get over things, but life is just...well...whatever.

OR

You can walk along the "Trust Path". This trail is direct. It's beautiful. Shaded. God is right there with you walking the path. You stay right on it because you trust that He is leading you rig…

My Mission in Life (I think!)

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I am an early riser...between 4 and 4:30 every morning. I take my time to read, pray, think, meditate and work out. It keeps me balanced. I have these question cards that I use to make me think about stuff...they pose questions to me and then I am supposed to write about them. They really do make me think about things! Some uncomfortable, some fun. Some things that I really never thought of before.

Today's was: What is my mission in life?

For me, what I do know is that I am not meant to be someone like Mother Teresa and I am definitely not the philanthropic type that will donate to have libraries and school wings after her. I am just a girl from Buffalo, NY who grew up very blue collar, but always had aspirations of kicking some sort of ass at whatever I did.

I do think that I am meant to be a good influence. I am meant to encourage. I am meant to help others through my gift at being pretty darn good at my career. I am meant to show others that having God in your life is a heck of…

The Difference Between a Loan Officer and an Order Taker

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It makes me angry sometimes when people think of a mortgage as a commodity. For 99.999% of the people out there, it truly isn't. It is probably THE largest investment financially that you will ever make. Period. So, why would you trust the whole process to someone who has absolutely no idea what they are doing? Who just takes your information and throws it up against the wall to see if it will stick?
I bet you never thought of it that way.

They could make a reality show about all of the things that we do in the background to make sure that your loan is put together properly and the 57 trillion other things that we have to do (that you have no idea about) in order for your loan to close when it is supposed to. It is an art form. A very stressful one at that (for us at least). It is like herding cats most times...and at the end of the day, even if we have done everything right, if something gets screwed up, it becomes our fault.
We CARE about you. We care about your family. We solv…

God Talks to Me...Really.

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God talks to me in my dreams. That is when it happens.

I will tell you about one of the times...
A few years back, I broke BOTH of my ankles. That is right...both. Same time. I became the proverbial "bed bitch". I was pissed off. Royally.
A few days before this happened, I thought that I was on top of the world. I kicked butt at work and I was headed on a trip that I had won because of my production. Costa Rica...a hiker's paradise. I took one of my girlfriends with me and we decided to hire a guide to hike to a remote rainforest in the northern part of Costa Rica called San Rincon. It was a 10 mile out and back hike that had this beautiful waterfall literally in the middle of nowhere.


 The above is the waterfall. Yeah, it was beautiful.

The rest of the story of the hike went like this: 6.7 magnitude earthquake, attacked by a whole nest of Costa Rican black wasps, bitten everywhere, ran for life...2 broken ankles. Had to walk 4 miles on them back to truck. Total suckvill…

Encouragement to my 13 year old self

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If I were to travel back in time to give myself some advice, I would choose me at the age of 13. I would tell her how much she is worth and to never sell herself short when it comes to choices and relationships that she enters or makes. I would tell her that she is a princess and a goddess that should only be treated with the utmost respect and love...and that she should continue to be fearless and bold.

She would know that she is safe and secure, no matter what has happened to her. It's OK and there is nothing to be ashamed of. What other people have done to you is on them. You are a child. There are angels protecting her and she is meant to do great things.

She has a voice that should not be squelched and a light that is meant to shine. She is strong and beautiful and kind and generous. She is smart and full of spunk.

She is meant to change lives in ways that she could never even begin to imagine.

If only I could go back...


Me. Age 13.


Shame is an A$$hole. Big time.

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Shame. Shame is an a$$ho1e. Being vulnerable here, I will tell you that my skeleton (that will no longer be in my closet ha ha) is my relationship mistakes. I have everything “together” in my life, except for my “love life”. As I’ve gotten older, I realized that we ALL have our share of things we are embarrassed about and that we don’t want people to know about us for fear that they will think differently about the “perfect” self we want them to see. I don’t care who you are, shame stops us from living a life of wholeheartedness because were afraid of being judged, so instead, we retreat and maybe don’t do the things we are meant to do or meet the people who we’re meant to meet out of fear. One of my friends sent me this…and it just kind of enforced within me the realization that when the RIGHT person comes along in your life - whether that be a partner or a new friend, they are not going to give a $hit about what happened in your past, they will just care about who that made you tod…

On UNplugging...

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I just got back from my "happy place" aka Sedona, Arizona. It is a place that I love so very much and frequent as often as I am able. Maybe it is the vortex that draws me there, maybe it is the beautiful red mountains...or maybe it is the dry desert air that my body and hair love so very much. Whatever it is, I freakin' love it there more than any other place I have gone. I plan on living there someday...just not yet.
In our industry, the phone calls, the texts, the emails...they NEVER stop. It is a monster that we have all created and still continue (most of us) to live in. I could literally work 24 hours a day...and there was a point in time when I kind of did. I don't do that anymore. Thank God. People expect us to work days, nights, weekends...what the heck? I would not ever expect anyone to do this in any other industry...why are we different?
This meme give s a good hint at what it is like:

And let me tell you...I HAVE cried before. It is true. I will also bet…